Tuesday, June 07, 2005

monkey business

i've got a monkey, he knows
where the pretty girls go
taps the side of his nose
and says he can't disclose

where they're at
because that
would betray them
(and he wants to lay them)

Friday, June 03, 2005

why i hate my boss

i washed my shoulders twice today
it's nice to keep them clean
and while i washed i watched my boss
invent a time machine

he put it in his little bag
and took it to the fair
and showed it to the passers-by
who had assembled there

they clapped when he had showed them
he giggled and he coughed
and threw the bag into the air
the people watched it drop

it smashed onto my shoulders
and the blood flowed out dark red
i turned round to my boss and smiled
and punched him in the head

Thursday, June 02, 2005

round and round and round again

nascar racing's really dull and boring
that's why they show it early in the morning
to people who can't turn off the TV
and not to normal folk like you or me

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

letter to a farmer

a donkey called Sebastian
who works upon your farm
has not a penny to his name
and can't afford a car

he wants to buy a mini
painted up in racing green
but he doesn't have a chance because
he hasn't got a bean

spare a thought for dear old donkey
spare a kind thought for old Seb
and stop paying him in carrots
give him five-pound notes instead


when i wake up during the night
and feel that something's just not right
i ring my friends and tell them too
i like to keep them in the loop